By Todd Black | Louisiana Prep Scoreboard
Parents, safety first.
If you pick and choose your battles with your teenagers, I will highly recommend taking this battle. If your son or daughter is participating in sports this upcoming fall, they need to start drinking a lot of water and get acclimated to the heat, if that is even possible. Even though water works, remember to mix in Gatorade or something similar to help replenish their salts.
For the parents of younger ones starting athletics, I am a big believer in asking questions before committing to any team or organization. All you are attempting to do is make sure this coach and team are the right fit for your son or daughter. If you are a parent considering a coaching role this Fall, know as a coach, you will have an impact on each and every kid on your team whether it is positive or negative. I have had two kids graduate high school and one who is still in middle school. I know it ALL; just ask me!! Seriously, I have experienced youth sports from a coaching, parental, and a coach/dad perspective. Here is some advice I would like to share from three different perspectives.
When you sign your child up to play sports, this does not mean they should sit around the house all day and do nothing until practice. Here is a fact. I do individual lessons with quarterbacks. I could give the same message to the same kid ‘and his clone’ and whoever works the hardest between lessons will improve faster. Now, I know you’re thinking – ‘no kidding, it’s common sense’; but do you know how many kids don’t think this way?
With that said, I was fortunate enough to be a coach before I was a dad. Being a father of athletes is probably harder to balance than someone walking a tightrope, but like everything else, you live and learn. Being a father and coaching your son is a venture that requires assistance. I always told my other coaches, “If I have an exchange with my son that is more than two words, jump in.”
My coaching experience made me understand if a kid’s heart is not into playing a certain sport, don’t talk him into playing. This goes for your kids or my kids. This knowledge gave me the thought process of never asking or telling our boys to ‘get their work in.’ No matter the age, you have to want to get better and if that is not their mentality when you tell them to practice, you get a kid who just goes through the motions. Once that happens, watch the dominoes fall! Because you yelled at Little Jimmy for his pitiful effort, Little Jimmy says he is going to get water and instead, he goes to tell mom that ‘dad is being abusive, and she should call 911.’ Therefore, I never ask my boys if they want to get work in, but when they ask me, I never tell them ‘No.’ Occasionally, when mom is not around, I whisper to them, “Don’t come crying to me when you aren’t good enough to play on your team.”
I want to take a step back for a second. I want parents to understand youth sports has a purpose. It’s not to create the next “Great Bambino,” it is not to create a college scholarship; in my opinion, youth sports is the beginning of your son or daughter learning about the real world and life. Athletics will open conversations between you and your children that you ordinarily would not have. Those conversations will come full circle if you have a coach that ‘gets it.’
This next topic has a lot of different variables to consider. I touch on all three perspectives. The first addresses coaching.
I feel if parents are allowing their son to play for me, I am being trusted with their most prized possession. Therefore, I am being trusted to do the right thing both on the field and off. Whether a pitch count, bad weather, heat issues, or any situation that your son’s well-being is at risk, your expectation is for me as his coach is:
- Keep him safe.
- Develop him as a player.
When it comes to parents and questions, I try to cover every worst case scenario during the parents meeting at the beginning of the year. If you have a question about something I said I was going to do and have not done it, that’s on me. If it’s a game related question, there is a 24 hour rule. I do ask parents, “if your son is not happy about something, I would like for him to come to me first.” My reasoning is, I want to know who is really the one unhappy. But I encourage questions because I am not trying to hide or deceive anyone.
As parents, we do not like surprises. As a coach, I don’t want to surprise you. Therefore, if something comes up in the middle of the season, my hope is that I covered it at the beginning of the year. What questions should you ask your coach?
- At the end of the year, what do you hope this team has accomplished?
If the answer is:
- Championship! Run!
- For each player to have improved mentally and physically. Stick around.
- Ask your coach his policy on playing time!
As a coach, if you are asking your players and parents to trust your philosophy, then should have no problem answering questions.
When it comes to coaching fundamentals, think about it, if you are a 10 year old football team and your players can get in a stance, fire off the football, tackle, and line up correctly; I promise you have a great chance of being pretty good. A few years back, I was talking to a youth coach and he was expressing his disgust with his offense’s output. At the end of the conversation he said, “So guess what we will be doing a lot of next week?” And before I could answer, he said, “Team” and walked off.
Team is the result of either good or bad fundamentals. Instead of just criticizing this coach, I decided to offer a solution. Below is a play and practice plan I would use to install a new play. Regardless, I am a big believer in starting each practice with ‘individual’ drills which consist of fundamentals. The purpose for this approach is I feel it gives EVERY player (starter or not) an opportunity to get better. At younger ages, just because you play center at 10 doesn’t mean you are going to play center when you are in high school.
The next period is ‘group.’ For the offense, group consists of QB’s, RBs, and offensive line while the WR’s are working 1-on-1’s. Here is the example I was speaking of earlier.
On the left side of the play, I included OL rules. Why? It holds the O-line accountable. Here is another tip for the OL, I always want to know ‘how they think!’ The best way to accomplish this is by putting them (OL) on a whiteboard in front of their peers and making them talk through the blocking rules for all positions. If they are hesitant writing on the whiteboard, they will be hesitant coming out of their stance. Make sense?
I did all that to say this. If the OL cannot step correctly, no matter how much you practice ‘team,’ the problem will still exist. Here is what coaches need to understand. Doing things the right way is your responsibility. If you do not know the solution, ask someone. Inbox me, if I don’t know the answer, I can promise you I will find someone who does.
Coaching becomes difficult when you 1) try to listen to everybody, 2) when you listen to no one, 3) when you coach the result, and 4) when you don’t do the things you said you were going to do. The kids and players must come first.
I can’t bow out without touching on travel baseball. I have had two sons go through travel ball, played baseball in high school and never once did any coach ask how many rings they won or who they played for! Can you believe that? With that being said, why do travel ball coaches and their organizations hold tryouts, hand pick their team and still fly players in or continue to pick up players off other teams?
- The coach knows he is not very good at developing players.
- The coach’s ego is way more important than your kid is; he has got to win at all costs.
- While the coach’s ego gets caressed, your son is sitting on the bench not getting reps which is probably the most important thing a kid can get in preparation for high school.
Parents, listen! If your son’s coach is flying kids in for tournaments or picking up kids to win championships, he does not care one bit if your kid makes his high school team or not. If he did, the coach would be playing your son, working on his development to become a better player. To sit a kid and expect that will help him improve is really exposing that coach’s ignorance. *Picking up kids because you are short of a player or two is not what I’m referring to here.
I’m going to leave you with this story. My middle son started playing baseball at a double A level. At 12, he moved to a AAA team and that’s where he remained until he entered high school. Honestly, from a parent and coaching standpoint, my goal going through travel ball is for my sons to be prepared to compete for a starting position or contribute their junior season and then have a better than average chance of starting their senior year. *Parents, Understand, no matter what team your son lands on or who his coach is, you always must continue to work with him outside of practice.
The two older boys graduated from the biggest school in the state. The oldest ran into back problems his sophomore and senior years and never fully recovered. My middle son was on track after his junior year to be in the hunt for a starting job as a senior. Jackson is 5 ft, 8 inches; 145 pounds and can run like a deer. From about August of his senior year through the beginning of baseball season, he would tell his mom and I, “I’m going to work out and then go hit.” Seriously, we called BS on it. I figured he and his buddies were being clowns and maybe half-ass doing what they said they were doing.
Jackson has never 5-hopped a fence much less hit a home run. This past February his team had their annual, beginning of the year, intra-squad scrimmage. Jackson was batting lead-off and crushed a pitch over the left field fence (video attached: Home run). Dutchtown’s baseball field, it’s a pitcher’s park, no question. From there, Jackson was on fire, I mean 13-16 on fire.
In travel ball, Jackson won one championship. He didn’t even get a ring; he got a shirt. My point to parents is, what Jackson accomplished at the beginning of his senior season was because of Jackson. It wasn’t because he played 85 games a season in travel ball. It wasn’t because he went to the World Series of USSSA baseball. It was because Jackson put in the work; Jackson put in the time; and Jackson learned ‘hard work pays off.’ Getting the reps is way more important than who he played for or with. Bending your brain to figure out which travel ball team your 11 year old will play on will not be the most important decision you will ever make for him. But, that decision can sure put a hurting on your checking account.
As with any sport, you want coaches who put development in front of winning rings or making championship runs. You want coaches who are committed to the growth of their team, not the growth of their ego. Youth sports is about developing players. This is important for several reasons.
- It’s embarrassing to have to mention this but if you are an organization, parents pay you to do.
- Development gives players confidence. Confidence opens the door to bigger things like teaching players to be the best they can be no matter the circumstance; if you are a football player, a baseball player, a dad, or husband.
Only 6.3% of high school baseball players receive scholarships to play in college. Reality is if your son or daughter wants to be a college athlete, they must be self-driven, disciplined, and dedicated. College athletes have work ethics that a different than most, you either have it or don’t.
Early in this article, I mentioned Jackson got off to a great start. After the great start, baseball is a humbling sport, however, Jackson battled to get out of his funk. But before he could, Jackson squared to bunt and was hit in the face with a fastball. Jackson suffered fractures to his face and had successful emergency surgery. As one might imagine, his outlook on baseball changed. So much so, he didn’t want to play anymore. I asked him if he was afraid and over and over, he answered ‘no’ every time.
Honestly, my wife and I were struggling with his decision. After I asked Jackson’s coach for advice, my wife and I came to this conclusion if ‘he just does not want to play anymore!’ we aren’t going to roll that way. We teach our boys sports is not about you. It’s a team game and no matter what you have to be there for your coaches and teammates. For those of you who have been an athlete, you know the ‘what if’ train and regret can keep you awake at night.
I walked in Jackson’s room and sat on his bed. He looked at me and I said, “I really want you to think about something. We always talk about doing the right thing. Jackson, sometimes we have to do the right thing even though the right thing is something we don’t want to do. For example, a funeral. No one wants to go to a funeral, but we do because it’s the right thing to do. The right thing for you to do is make yourself available for your coaches and your teammates; you have to at least give your coach an option to play you. I love you.” And walked out. An hour later he called me and said, ‘I understand.’
A week later, his coach thought he was ready and started Jackson in the 2nd Round of the playoffs. My wife and I knew how important it was for Jackson to get back in the batter’s box and none of it had to do with sports. None of it had to do with championship rings or who he played for or who he played with. At this point, none of that mattered.
Jackson had to trust himself and fall back on what the game of baseball had taught him over the years. Baseball teaches kids to battle, never quit, and to have a short memory.
Unfortunately, for the 3-game series, Jackson’s team lost. The silver lining was Jackson went 3-5 in the series. I guess he wasn’t scared. When Jackson was playing travel ball, we thought it would all be about wins/losses and how big high school baseball would play in his life. We were right, baseball has played a big part of Jackson’s life, just not the way most of us had envisioned.
Even though Jackson played travel ball all his life, in the most important at-bats in his young life, who he played for, how many championships he won, the position he played; none of that mattered more than what was in Jackson’s determination. Our Jackson’s situation, youth sports did it’s job and we couldn’t be more prouder of Jackson for doing the right thing.